Monday, April 30, 2007

Wanted – A Corrupted Politician

Pilihanraya Ijok berlalu sudah
BN menang dan BA kalah
Janganlah sedih dan gundah
Dan janganlah marah-marah
PKR perlu duduk bermuhasabah
Strategi mana yang salah
Teliti betul apakah masalah

Kita nak ucap kat Tan Sri tahniah
Berkempen secara baik penuh hikmah
Tak ada maki hamun dan jerkah-jerkah
Dan juga tidak menabur fitnah
Dan tidak keluarkan kata-kata lucah
First timer ini memang biasalah
Ini sebahagian dari proses tarbiyah
Bila terlibat dengan politik atau siasah

Tersenyum lebar Najib dan Pak Lah
Berpuluh juta telah habis dicurah
Gang gagak hitam kena bayar upah
Kesemua machinery habis kena kerah
Bukan free dan bukan murah
Sudah tentu naik indeks rasuah

Pengundi sudah boleh dibeli dengan murah
Kain pelikat dan kain batik basah
Sudah mamadai untuk dacing dipangkah
Walaupun pemimpin korup dan tak amanah
Walaupun pemimpin bongkak dan lemah
Salah guna kuasa semua didedah
Tetapi itu semua tak jadi masalah
Material lebih penting dari nilai dan maruah
Berbuih-buih kita hentam mereka perasuah
Tetapi pengundi pun termakan juga rasuah
Kalau macam ni lambat lagi tertegak daulah

I may sound very pessimistic
Voters did not vote on rhetoric
Albeit leaders who dishonest and eccentric
Some of them live in the era of Jurassic
And they don’t even pass English and Mathematic
Yet they are chosen not because they are prolific
Because the voters are materialistic
If you bring candidates who looks futuristic
Handsome, young and looks fantastic
He will only succeed if he is involved in money politic
Yes, yes the society is sick.

Keris Silau
30 April 2007

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Aku Doakan ADUN aku GOL!

Najib umumkan imbuhan 3 juta
Untuk masjid surau dan balairaya
Khas sempena pilihanraya
Lain kali kita minta ADUN mati tempat kita
Apa yang kita mohon akan dilulus segera
Nak baru punya jalanraya?
Masjid nak karpet baru dari Persia?
Anak-anak perlukan biasiswa?
Nak besarkan kuil atau tokong Buddha?
Nak suruh Mawi turun atau Siti Nurhaliza?
Kalau menteri suruh mai nak kata apa?

Ini memang taktik tau tau malu punya
Guna kerajaan punya jentera
Agensi kerajaan dikerah bantu sama
Tak nak buat sureheboh TV tiga?
Buatlah boleh ampu pemimpin negara
Bawa mari artis yang terkinja-kinja
Atau dari Akademi (Khayalan)Fantasia
Tentu orang kampong Ijok suka
Lepas tu depa akan pangkah hangpa

Tak cukup dengan itu guna pula media
Radio telivisyen dan berita perdana
Tunjuk muka depa kenyih depan kamera
Nampak macam ahli politik yang ceria

SPR pun jadi parti komponen juga
Mana ada election yang bersih, adil dan saksama
Kalau RM100,000 ialah perbelanjaan maksima
Bagaimana dengan Khir Toyo RM36 juta?
Ini bermakna 360 kali ganda
Seorang pengundi dapat RM3000 secara purata
Bendera PKR diganti putih punya bendera
Serah kalah saja kat mereka
Lawan pun tak guna
Khalid dan Anwar jangan buang tenaga
Buang beras kata orang tua-tua
Mangan jari kata Wak Jawa
Marilah kita boikot macam Batu Talam dua muka!

Keris Silau (ya..marah)
25 April 2007

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

E-Joking

Ijok is getting more interesting
12000 voters getting more confusing
Who is actually contesting
Khir Toyo or Najib yang bising
Or Partiban who just go around smiling
Anwar launched an attack over the killing
Najib answered he know nothing
Sue me in court if you are willing
No lah I dont want your wife feel embarassing
What kind of excuse is he giving?
While IRD is busy with E-Filing
Ijok is busy with E-Joking

BN accused opposition yang baling
But a lot of witness saw everything
Khairy and all the mat samsing
So that made Pak Lah fuming
He said stupid to those that throw thing

Ijok is really amusing
Other than those who sing
We have a lot of story telling
Hikayat Si Altantuya that gone missing
To Si DPM who keep denying
Who insists he know nothing about the killing
Saya tak kenal Altantuya rakyat warga asing

Khir allocated RM36M for infrastructure
My God that's a lot of money for sure
Is he smoothing the road like his facial makeover
Instead of putting up the tarmac he adds moisturizer

Whatever it is BN will claim the victory
Kalau lihat senarai daftar undi
Ada pengundi yang sudah mati
Dan ada yang lahir in early 20th century
Update sungguh the list from the EC
This is the best form of democracy
Entah guna tahun bila punya banci
Buang masa aja pi kempen hari-hari
Whoi BN hang mai tipu mana aci
Baik aku balik rumah dok dengan bini.

Keris Silau
24 April 2007

Friday, April 20, 2007

Ijok Seiras Lunas

Tiba-tiba keadaan menjadi cemas
Sudah bertukar menjadi ganas
Teringat aku pilihanraya Lunas
Peristiwa di Lunas kembali diimbas
Penyokong parti bertindak buas
Sampai kena ketuk pemandu bas
Sebab pengundi hantu boleh lepas
Kedua-dua penyokong bertindak balas
FRU tak teragak-agak sembur gas
Maka larilah macam kudung punya lipas
Member sebelah pun lari cargas
Cari mutu nak lari pi Merbau Pulas
Bila sembur sesak dada sesak nafas
Nak kencing pun tak mau lawas
Menitik-nitik tak mau tas
Celaka punya FRU masih tak puas
Pukul dengan cota pula dengan keras
Darah mengalir pekat dan panas
Oh Lunas sejarahmu kembali mengimbas
Kini Ijok pula menjadi pentas
Hero utama pun sudah bebas
Turun pula reformis dari Paya Jaras
Untuk menentang gagak Kepala Batas
Menantu main peranan tukang kipas
Kita lihat siapa menang siapa tewas
Tetapi tuan-tuan awas
Hantu-hantu Lunas akan dilepas
Dah ada sembunyi belakang pokok kapas
Dan dah ada yang sudah tempah bas

Keris Silau
20 April 07

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I-Jok Only

Dulu Ijok cuma pekan sepi
Now it’s bustling with party
Bukan parti hari jadi
Tapi parti UMNO, MIC, PKR, PAS and DAP
Hahaha semua mau pancing undi
Orang Ijok jadi Raja Sehari
Semua dapat kain batik dan sari
Kain pelikat atau dhoti
Tentulah Barisan yang kasi
Barisan ada good machinery
Machinery is good because of money
Without money you can see nobody
Sometimes they use government agency
Suddenly ada menteri datang rasmi
Bangunan sudah lima tahun lagi mau rasmi
Suddenly anak yatim pun dapat simpati
Bawa turun sports celebrity
Next time they should bring Dato K and Siti
Sekarang sudah tiada rahsia lagi
Tapi undi itu rahsia ya Cik Siti!

Development work in this constituency
Khir kata semua sudah ready
He said bukan untuk pancing undi
Hahaha you percaya ini doktor gigi?
Dia ingat otak kita letak di kaki
Insulting and disgusting testimony
Penuh dengan ciri-ciri hipokrasi

Suddenly there’s 180 degree turn in MIC
I will support BN said P.Thiroomurthy
The guy who was sacked by Samy
Ada apa-apa deal dibelakang sari?

Keris Silau
19 April 2007

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Petikan Dari Damai Abadi

Aku suruh bongkar Bukhari
Depa bongkar aku punya Diari
Aku suruh cari Al Ghazali
Tapi cerita aku di Perth yang digali
Aku suruh ikut Sunnah Nabi
Sebab tu aku kahwin lagi
Tak elok pemimpin hidup menyendiri
Kenapa engkau berhasad dengki
Aku ingin hidup damai abadi
Kenapa kacau aku punya hal peribadi
Nanda bagi bot mewah di Turki
Bukan aku yang pergi beli
Aku hidup penuh bererti
Kenapa kaitkan aku dengan Khari
Aku ingin nikmati damai abadi
Sebab tu aku tidur sampai mimpi-mimpi
Dalam mesyuarat bersama menteri-menteri
Kenapa engkau iri hati
Aku hidup kerana Dia Rabbi
Bukan kerana nak jawatan tinggi
Cukup sekadar jadi Perdana Menteri
Menteri Kewangan dan Dalam Negeri
Aku bukan gila kuasa macam bapa Mokzani

Tolong jangan ganggu aku lagi
Habis satu lagi term aku akan pergi
Nana Non can take over from me
Najib is history
Khairi hingus tak kering lagi
Muhyidin boleh jaga lembu dan biri-biri
The rest tak boleh harap lagi
Tengok lah Dato Johari
Pi berkawan dengan gangster kena buang negeri
Rafidah lagi tak boleh harap macam isu AP
Hisham cuma hunus keris yang tu yang dia berani
Isa Samad dah tertonggeng awal-awal lagi
Nak harap kat sapa lagi?

Keris Silau
April 17 2007
www.kerissilau.blogspot.com

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Cold Shower in Putrajaya

Paip bocor di Imigresen Putrajaya
Air jatuh daripada tingkat lima
Antara yang jatuh ialah air muka
Merah muka sebab berlaku di Putrajaya
Pusat pentadbiran kerajaan Malaysia
Lambang kebangaan seluruh negara
Harga bangunan pun RM200 juta

Sebelum ni tanah runtuh di sana
Di Precint 9 dilapur berita
Habis rosak kereta-kereta
Apa dah jadi bencana demi bencana
PM arah siasatan segera
PM nak tahu apakah dia punca
Ini semua kerja cut kona
Rasuah punya pasal la
Tak payah siasat jawapan dah ada
Nasib baik Samy tak ditanya
Jawapannya pasti Tuhan punya kerja
JKR maksum tak ada dosa
Jabatan Kaki Rasuah baru punya nama

Tengoklah rasuah punya bahaya
Sudah kronik macam kanser stage lima
Daripada piun hingga pembesar negara
Dari selatan hingga utara
Dari Semenanjung hingga East Malaysia
Hatta hingga merebak pejabat agama
Pegawai masjid pun ada juga minta
Kenduri maulud kickback RM1 satu kepala
MansyaAllah apa sudah jadi dengan moral kita
Pemimpin kata ikut macam saya
Dan BPR cuma minat ikan bilis saja
Ikan jerung boleh baham mereka
Sebab ikan jerung bagi mereka kerja
Ketua BPR pun dua kali lima
Personaliti meragukan pun depa suka

Perasuah dingatkan supaya bertaubat segera
Anda mungkin selamat di dunia
Tapi di akhirat anda akan disiksa
Setiap sen yang anda ambil akan dikira
Malaikat tak payah pakai kalkulata
Dalam split second keluar penyata
Dalam split second masuk neraka
Wanauzubillah minta dijauh hendaknya
Takutlah kepada Allah taala
Biarlah kita penat kerja lebih masa
Namun ianya wang halal untuk keluarga
Jangan dek rasuah kita kaya-raya
Bayangkan kalau rasuah tak ada
Tak jadi macam apa berlaku di Putrajaya.

Keris Silau
14 April 2007

Thursday, April 12, 2007

What's Next?

American set the date for President Election
In Malaysia, election date is PM’s discretion
After consulting bomoh and feng shui for suggestion
PM will decide when will be the best situation
To call-off the Parliament in session
So it gives an advantage to the ruling coalition

However if the MP died or handed his resignation
Then that will be a snap or by-election
Currently Machap is the attention of the nation
Mainstream media have to paint-up the BN reputation
And to trump up and bad-mouth the opposition
The road will be resurfaced to be in tip-top condition
Pak Mat will get his free Astro connection
Chinese voters will be treated well by Malaysian Chinese Association
Some should ask for scholarship for their children education

As usual empty promise will be part of election
Same thing Pak Lah said about fighting corruption
Talk only but no action
Work with me not for me is a false impression
The same thing goes with the policy of affirmative-action
It is the license to rob the wealth of the nation
It is the tool for cronies satiating the temptation
Have you forgotten the AP issue that rock the nation
After 37 years Malays remain poor and awful living condition
Income disparity became more apparent despite industrialization
Cronies continue to build mega-mansion
Remember Dato Z that built it without authorization
Crony continue to release those in detention
Dato J apparently got a carrot for RM5 million
Some continue to serve as Ministers despite the allegation
Some making overseas trip to improve bilateral relation
But ended up having affair with a Mongolian
RM3 million for each Head of Division
In order for him to remain as Head of the Nation
And we still want them in the office to further strengthen the rampant corruption?


Keris Silau
12 April 2007

Saturday, April 07, 2007

The First Family

Have you heard about The First Family?
That refers to the family of Pak Lah Badawi
Who has a son Kamal and a daughter Nori
And the infamous Son-In-Law Khairi
Who thinks he will be the next Perdana Menteri
Nori thinks she is the First Lady
Since the death of her mom recently
She competes with Najib punya isteri
Who also thinks she is the First Lady
Kamal do not really care about the publicity
He is busy amassing wealth locally and luar negeri
Through his “greedy for contract” company Scomi

The latest news is about the Perth property
It was reported in the blog and Malaysiakini
No wonder bloggers are under great scrutiny
Reports about the yacht and a jet peribadi
And the so-called marriage with a French lady
Despite his fame as Malaysia sleeping beauty
He stays alert these days with all this publicity
Even Samy Vellu start to hentam his ministry
Samy said toll hike was decided by EPU not me
He will fight with EPU reported by today’s NST
But a person likes Samy
Don’t take him so seriously
He learned his trick from watching Hindi movie
By the way, when he is going to quit permanently
Unlike Keng Yaik who called it a day tak lama lagi
Will be replaced by Ah Koon the big nosy

Well this is the latest political story
Full of colors, rumors and very funny
We have not written about Dato Johari
Or the scandal involving Mongolian lady
And the Mamak Bendahra(Rtd) who remains fiery
Despite rumah kata pergi kubur kata mari
His mind is still sharp and witty
He will not let go Pak Lah easily
Meanwhile sit back as I want to go for secawan kopi.


Keris Silau
April 6, 2007

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Ban Bin Bun

Orang Melayu juara mengaji
Siap dengan dengung sekali
Tilawah Quran Melayu juara Qari
Dapat hadiah menunaikan haji
Kalau ada majlis kenduri
Perkahwinan atau maulud nabi
Tentu ada marhaban dan berzanji
Tarik suara pitch tinggi
Lebih kurang Sharipah Aini
Ada juga mirip macam Mawi
Dia tu pun dulu pandai mengaji
Tapi la ni sibuk jadi penyanyi

Melayu silap ambik prioriti
Depa mengaji tapi tak mengkaji
Pandai dengung dan mana nak henti
Tapi makna ayat depa tak reti
Baca Yassin seminggu sekali
Setahun baca lima puluh dua kali
Tak masuk lagi tahlil dan orang nak mati
Tapi makna Yasin kurang mengerti

Kita digalakkan baca ayat-ayat suci
Kita juga disuruh kaji maknanya sekali
Baca dan faham 10 ayat setiap hari
Baru dapat mendalami panduan Illahi
Boleh membentuk kita punya peribadi
Agar membawa obor Islam dimana kita pergi

Keris Silau
4 April ‘07