Monday, December 31, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 9)

Dear Mat John,

As 2007 is closing its curtain
Year 2008 remain uncertain
Political clowns will continue to entertain
Will Samy Vellu become disdain?
Or will he continue to be Indians chieftain
Or his political career ends in the TOL lane

How about the fate of Pak Lah Badawi
Nicknamed as Malaysia Sleeping Beauty
Will he continue to steer BN to thumping majority
Or 2008 will witness the BA’s victory
BA winning the election is like mimpi siang hari
A popular song sung by the late Broery
Perchance they reduce the two third majority
Maybe Gerakan got fed-up with Umno’s bully
As the case of Youth leader Paranjothy
So Gerakan decided to join with PKR and DAP
Three parties that members are multi-ethnicity
Reflecting new Malaysians living in this beautiful country

Well, we wish it becomes a reality
Malay, Chinese and Indian live in harmony
Together with Kadazans, Ibans, and Benggali
Makan, minum, main dan tidur sekali
Learn to appreciate the diversity
We don’t need NEP or DEB
Since it only benefits the cronies and First Family
You and I do not enjoy the free AP
You and I were not granted permit teksi
You and I do not get timber konsesi
You and I cannot become university’s VC?
Even though you are qualified and have three PhD
Even though you are born and breed as Bumi
Since you and I do not belong to a governing party
Or support them and sign Aku Janji

We can continue to be pensyarah universiti
Nampak glamour tapi pocket got not money
The most affordable car is Waja or Myvi
Since we know promotion is not on meritocracy
It is better for us to migrate oversea
The only thing you will miss is politicians absurdity.

Well Mat John, Happy New Year!
Enjoy the fireworks along the Yarra River!

Keris Silau
31 December 2007

Dear Readers,

I would like to wish all of you Happy New Year. Thank you for taking time to read my satirical antics all this year. Some of you have sent me emails and words of encouragement, not forgetting to those that appreciate my writings silently.

My biggest hit for 2007, I guess, must be Bocor Lagi. I hope you enjoyed them. If any words that might hurt your feelings, well, I am sorry, it meant to hurt. He he he.

Anyway, please continue reading. Some of you suggested that I compiled them into a book. Well, let me think about that next year.

Saya ingin mengambil kesempatan ini untuk mengucapkan Selamat Tahun Baru kepada semua pembaca dan terima kasih kerana terus membaca tulisan saya. Ada yang menghantar emel memberi kata perangsang buat saya, dan ada yang menghargai secara diam.

Antara tulisan yang paling popular apabila membuat Google Search ialah Bocor Lagi dan saya juga menerima emel dari kawan-kawan tulisan saya sendiri. Saya harap anda terhibur dan jikalau anda marah, saya mohon maaf, sebab sememangnya ia bermaksud begitu.

Ada yang memberi cadangan supaya saya menerbitkan buku tulisan saya ini. Biarlah saya fikir masak-masak.

Selamat Tahun Baru 2008

May Allah bless you, semoga Allah memberkati anda.

Keris Silau
December 31, 2007.

Tahun 2007 Tinggalkan Banyak Memori

Tahun 2007 akan berlalu pergi
Banyak peristiwa berlaku tahun ini
Yang meninggalkan banyak memori
Seperti perkawinan Datuk K dan Siti
Disiarkan secara langsung buat pertama kali
Begitu juga putus tunang secara rasmi
Antara Ina dan penyanyi popular Mawi
Tak habis-habis cerita selebriti
Dari Paris Hilton hinggalah si gila Britney
Namun tak ketinggalan juga Pak Lah Badawi
Memilih Jean Danker Abdullah sebagai isteri
Pak Lah menjadi model versi Islam Hadhari
Bertepatan dengan Mencari Damai Abadi
Bukan harta yang bertimbun-timbun yang dicari
Rupanya Pak Lah mencari calun isteri
Lalu disuruh membongkari kitab-kitab suci
Seperti yang ditulis oleh Ghazali dan Shafie
Namun tak jumpa tutup aurat tak wajib untuk isteri

Lalu ahli parlimen pun berniat nak buat kenduri
Disembelihnya lembu dan kambing biri-biri
Dihalaman parlimen sebab nak jek Perdana Menteri
Diajaknya sekali Lim Kit Siang dan Tok Guru Haji Hadi
Peristiwa yang menjadi bahan ketawa luar negeri
Selain dari peristiwa bocor teruk di lobi
Dan peristiwa dua MP yang menghina MP wanita DAP
Selain dari parlimen bocor wanita bocor sebulan sekali
Begitu celupar dan bodoh otak letak celah gigi

Selain mempunyai PM yang hobinya tidur disiang hari
Kita juga ramai badut dikalangan menteri-menteri
Dan yang paling ketara ialah budak kolek si Nazri
Misainya kontot kepalanya botak berseri-seri
Kononnya dialah menteri yang bijak bistari
Temuramah di NST menyerlahkan keangkuhan peribadi
Dia kata cuma boleh ikut pendapat majoriti
Kalau majoriti makan tahi hang pun ikut makan tahi

Tahun 2007 juga banyak peristiwa menyedihkan hati
Seperti pembunuhan adik Nurin yang amat ngeri
Tidak jumpa pembunuhnya sampai ke hari ini
Dan rakyat dikejutkan dengan pembunuhan sensasi
Berkecai Altantuya dibom C4 untuk hilangkan bukti
Pembunuhan yang menimbulkan banyak kontroversi
Sebab dikaitkan dengan Timbalan Perdana Menteri
Razak Baginda ialah broker pembelian senjata api
Altantuya ialah bekas kekasihnya “pembantu peribadi”

Banyak lagi peristiwa yang nak dicerita disini
Namun masa begitu mencemburui
Kalau ada masa kita akan tulis banyak lagi

Selamat Tahun Baru 2008.

Keris Silau
31 December 2007

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Bahaya Dadah dan Rasuah

Lingkup negara kerana rasuah
Sebab rasuah sudah jadi barah
Dari peringkat atas hingga bawah
Nak lepas kena bagi seribu setengah
Tidak kalau masuk lokap orang salah
Nak projek kena bagi kat orang tengah
Dari projek kecil hinggalah projek mewah
Tidak kira pegawai berjawat tinggi atau rendah
Dari piun yang jaga fail pejabat tanah
Hinggalah kepada menteri kabinet Pak Lah
Seolah-olah rasuah sudah jadi lumrah
Rakus, haloba meresap ke dalam darah
Pupus sudah sikap bersih dan amanah
Tidak peduli lagi siksaan dari Allah
Hatta jamuan majlis tahlil sambut Maal Hijrah
Janganlah pula ada yang memberi rasuah
Untuk langkah giliran menunaikan haji ke Mekah
Semua tu akan mengundang bala dan musibah

Lingkup negara juga dengan isu dadah
Sama saja anak orang kaya atau susah
Yang susah makan yang murah-murah
Bila bekalan habis mula marah-marah
Kepala otak bercelaru tak tentu arah
Ada yang sampai sanggup bunuh ibu ayah
Ya Allah minta simpang wa Nauzubillah
Mereka hilang pegangan hilang maruah
Kerana nak memuaskan nafsu serakah
Sudah tidak bernilai lagi untuk ummah
Jadi bebanan kepada keluarga dan pemerintah
Dulu dapat straight As di sekolah
Ingat boleh jadi loyar atau doktor falsafah
Sekarang lebih hina dan murah dari sampah
Kalau dah terjebak nak berpatah balik susah
Pusat Serenti tidak menyelesaikan masalah

Islam mengharamkan dadah dan rasuah
Islam merupakan penyelesai masalah
Islam bukan mendatangkan musibah
Sebab Islam adalah satunya agama disisi Allah
Muhammad merupakan Rasul penyudah
AlQuran adalah panduan untuk seluruh ummah
Bacalah AlQuran yang tidak pernah diubah
Ayuh segera dapatkan senashkah
Dan bacalah setiap ayat dan surah
Pasti terdapat jawapan kepada setiap masalah

Wahai pemerintah
Jangan kau lembik dan lemah
Jangan kau boros dan bermewah-mewah
Jangan kau pinggirkan rakyat di bawah
Jangan kau buat maksiat di bumi Allah
Jangan kau abaikan amanah
Jangan kau lupa amanat Rasulullah
Segeralah dan berbaliklah kepada Allah

Keris Silau
26 December 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 8)

Dear Mat John,

Oh man, politics getting hot and spicy
The latest was scathing remark by Paranjothy
He is Gerakan Youth wing VP
He accused Hisham and Khairy
For racial slurs and causing racial disunity
Inciting Malays to hate other community
Most of their remarks are discriminatory
Such as boycott by newsvendors during Deepavali
And keris (not me) brandishing just to gain popularity

Paran also support Hindraf rally recently
He said street demos started by ruling party
No police permit was obtained to hold the rally
Yet the BN youth held the demo “legally”
He said police was one-sided how about that IGP

Hisham was furious and retaliated immediately
He wanted Gerakan to take action against Paranjothy
If not, the ties will be severed among component party
How can he launched the attack publicly
It is not BN culture to criticize leaders so openly
It is stipulated in Dosa-Dosa Besar of BN policy
Womanizing, drinking, gamblings are permissible in this party
But criticizing leaders is a major sin tantamount to expulsion from party
Don’t you remember the remarks made by Mokhzani
He said Badawi’s speech has no quality
Pressured by some quarters led him to apologize to Badawi

That’s it, BN is in trouble already
Tun Daim added more headaches to Badawi
Normally diam Daim made some commentary
He said this in the Chinese daily
He said watch out for hotspots in the country
No, no, I am not referring to Maxis or Digi
Election hotspots referring to tiga negeri
Selangor DE, Kedah DA, and Penang DB
Penang DB? Penang Darul Bedui
FYI, Dar in Arabic means a state or country
Bedui are peasants that live in Saudi
Nothing to do with Perdana Menteri

Mat John, I don’t think Oz’s politics are this spicy
You should move to Malaysia permanently
Bolehland provides you with more opportunity
Since you have Mat as your first name already
You may enjoy privilege being indigenous Bumi
And you can enjoy political absurdity live on TV
Many clowns to entertain you nightly

Keris Silau
24 December 2007

Friday, December 21, 2007

Musim Orang Khawin

Islam tidak galakkan pembaziran
Islam juga tidak galakkan bermewah-mewahan
Cukup sekadar sederhana dalam sambutan
Tidak kira majlis pertunangan atau perkahwinan

Pertama dari segi barang hantaran
Kedua-dua pihak akan bertukar-tukaran
Untuk mencukupkan serba satu salinan
Itu yang boleh nampak kasut naik atas pinggan
Diangkat sekali bersama bunga dan buah-buahan
Dan dihiaskan bunga bertatah emas mushaf AlQuran
Sekali lagi AlQuran jadi bahan pameran
Tak siapa pun buka baca isi kandungan
Yang mengatakan pembaziran itu kawannya syaitan
Apabila tiba di masjid atau rumah pengantin perempuan
Jurucakap akan berpantun dan buat pengumuman
Jurucakap mengumumkan harga cincin berlian
Boleh cek di kedai kalau ragu akan ketulenan
Dan umumkan mahar sebanyak RM999,999
Dan sebuah kereta mewah Mercedes Kleeman
Yalah kita tahu banyak wang tunai dalam simpanan
Tak habis makan dua tiga keturunan
Kita mungkin ikhlas dalam pemberian
Sebagai sebuah tanda cinta kepada pengantin perempuan
Namun semua ini tidak mencerminkan ciri-ciri keIslaman

Apa salahnya dia berahsia dalam pemberian
Kenapa mahu ditonjolkan kekayaan
Jangan khawin kerana harta tok kadi memperingatkan
Kawinlah kerana berdasarkan Islam dan Iman
Itulah yang lebih baik dan berkekalan
Kerana harta tidak kekal dan mungkin kehabisan
Namun cinta sejati sentiasa kekal disisi Tuhan
Berapa ramai mereka yang gagal dalam perkahwinan
Masa kawin media-massa semua buat liputan
Wedding of the year lah katakan
Namun selang beberapa bulan berakhir dengan penceraian

Sudah berapa kali kita ingatkan
Bersederhanalah dan ikut apa yang agama anjurkan
Jangan sampai ikut adat yang bukan-bukan
Kadangkala apa yang dilakukan bertentangan
Bukan sahaja tidak diberkati malah timbul kemurkaan Tuhan
Seperti cara pengantin perempuan berpakaian
Walaupun sekali seumur hidup sebagai alasan
Namun aurat kena jaga dan jangan buat pendedahan
Walaupun baju merelip merelap bergemerlapan
Upah sahaja boleh bagi satu kampung makan
Namun yang penting mesti ikut apa yang Islam tetapkan

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan
Ini semua sebagai satu nasihat dan panduan
Yang lepas-lepas tu jadilah pengajaran
Manusia ini tidak sunyi dari kesilapan
Namun setiap waktu kita mohon keampunan
Semoga Allah mengampunkan dan memaafkan.

Selamat EidulAdha @ Hari Raya Korban.

Keris Silau
21 Disember 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 7)

Dear Mat John,



I was away on vacation with family

Nothing much in the news lately

Same old same old story

Anyway rumors have been circulating intensely

That election will either be in March or late February

Banners, flags, buntings are all available already

They ordered from a sleepy town in Pattani

It is cheaper than Malaysian company



And you also can see the aspiring YBs

Portraying themselves as capable MPs

Attendance in parliament improved significantly

Same goes to Dewan Undangan Negeri

Some will intensify visits to their constituency

Fulfilling all the promises and janji-janji

Aspirants will also involve themselves in charity

Presenting mock check to the needy

Or distributing foods to floods’ evacuees

All rustle up for good publicity



For this upcoming Hari Raya Haji

You will see those sacrificing cows and biri-biri

Some will even bring unta from Saudi

Eat together with kampong folks in the kenduri

Garnering support to ensure victory

In return those folks will get kain pelikat and some money

Enough to buy a packet of rice and some sundry

YB will also love to pay visit to family of orang mati

To show his grief and sympathy

From now on songkok will be in the car permanently



In bigger towns they will throw a party

Bring some dangdut artist to sing and menari

To entertain some supporters and pekerja parti

Menyanyi menari sampai ke pagi

YB will announce the incentive to Wanita and Puteri

A paid trip to Cameron Highlands and Bukit Tinggi

While Ketua Bahagian will be happy for a golf trip to Krabi



Ka Ting said helping people is MCA priority

Regardless whether you are Chinese or Benggali

YBs has to represent every community

I read in today’s Star, an MCA’s news agency

Well, you can say whatever nice to pancing undi

But the rakyat will be the jury

They can’t be bought easily

They are tired of politicians’ antics and stupidity

Tired of some absurdity among the menteri

To name some like Samy, Zam and Nazri

Who talked like that they own this country

Even son-in-law that doesn’t hold post as menteri

Lagak kalah menteri, who else, menantu Badawi

He will be one of the BN candidates definitely

If Islam allows betting, I will put my money

Anyway Islam haramkan berjudi

His meteoric rise not because of his capability

But as you are aware, a “protection” from Badawi



Well Mat John, this is the 7th Mat John series

I have written many about those monkeys

Before they come and arrest me

They can concocted a number of tipu story

They will say that my writing disrupt racial harmony

My writing is threatening national security

They might even accuse me of sodomy

Then, I have to fly back to Ostrolia immediately

Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard will be happy to see me

Please make doa’ for a protection from Almighty



Keris Silau

18 December 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

Habuk pun tara!

Menteri Dalam Negeri cakap kosong belaka
Satu bentuk penipuan jauh dari fakta
Bila beri jawapan dalam parlimen yang mulia
Katanya bantuan diberi untuk keluarga mangsa
Bantuan apa wahai pembesar negara
Bantuan tak ada gangguan ada
Nak beri dua ratus bukan main berkira
Tapi habuk pun tara
Bukan dua ratus yang kami minta
Kami mahu mangsa ISA dibebas segera
Bantuan apa kalau diganggu SB-SB durjana
Memberi tekanan dan pecah cermin kereta
Ugutan demi ugutan kepada isteri mangsa

Menteri cuma pandai buat kenyataan
Tapi tidak tahu akan keadaan
Zaman dia katanya tak ada tangkapan
Tapi ISA diguna di seberang Laut Cina Selatan
Ini lah sebahagian dari perangai setan
Suka tipu demi menjaga kedudukan
Ya lah sebab mahukan kemewahan
Dia bukan tahu apa erti penderitaan
Naik bot mewah di seberang lautan
Kita disini disiksa susah cari makan
Dia boleh bawa artis luar berpesta-pestaan
Berhibur bergelak ketawa dalam majlis keramaian
Kita disini menangis anak-anak kelaparan

Wahai kerajaan pimpinan Dollah Badawi
Apa jenis ajaran yang dibawa Islam Hadari
ISA tak ada dalam ajaran Islam ori
Tangkap tanpa bicara bukan ajaran Islam yang suci
ISA ni hukum fikah ke berapa Islam Hadari
Sedarlah sikit umur semakin tua dimakan hari
Rumah kata pergi kubur kata mari
Kau nak jawab apa kat kubur nanti
Kau nak minta tolong sapa khairi
Dalam kubur yang gelap tak ada khairi atau nori
Kau kena jawab seorang diri
Begitu juga dengan pembesar dan menteri
Soal akhirat syurga neraka tak boleh lari
Sekarang di dunia kamu semua siksa kami
Kamu tangkap kami punya suami
Bagi alasan mengancam keselamatan negeri
Pala hotak kau apa punya alasan yang diberi
Jemaah Islamiyah tak ujud di Malaysia kata IGP
Kenyataan bercanggah tak kiralah Dompok atau Johari
Nampak sangat nak menipu tentang hak asasi
Oleh itu janganlah buang masa lagi
Bebaskanlah mangsa akta kejam ini

Keris Silau
16 December 2007

Rintihan Kamunting

Wahai rakyat Malaysia
Anda masih mampu senyum dan ketawa
Menikmati masa bersama keluarga
Menjamah juadah yang beraneka rupa
Hujung minggu beriadah di taman-taman bunga
Setiap tahun pulang ke kampong berhari-raya
Menonton drama yang menghiburkan jiwa

Namun luangkanlah sedikit masa
Untuk menjenguk mangsa kekejaman ISA
Yang tiada tempat merintih rasa
Kerana dituduh pengganas tanpa bicara
26 mangsa sudah hampir 6 tahun di Kemta
Satu tempoh ISA yang paling lama

Isteri di rumah memendam rasa
Anak-anak merindui belaian manja
Rindu amat sangat bapa yang tercinta
Ada yang tidak tertahan menanggung derita
Jiwa tertekan hidup dalam trauma
Memikirkan nasib bapa pulang entah bila

Hampir enam tahun dikurung dipenjara
Terkurung di blok batu dan pagar raksasa
Seolah-olah Kem Xray Guatanamo di Cuba
Kalau benar mengancam keselamatan negara
Keluarkan bukti penglibatan dengan segera
Tempoh enam tahun bukti tak dapat jumpa
Ini benar-benar melanggari hak asasi manusia
Undang-undang kejam ala rimba
Kalau betul-betul nak pulihkan mangsa
Jikalau kamu yakin mereka terlibat sama
Pulangkan mereka ke pangkal keluarga

Wahai pembesar negara
Dengar sini kami ingin berbicara
Allah berjanji akan dimakbulkan doa
Orang-orang yang disiksa dan dianaiya
Takutkanlah hukuman Tuhanmu Allah Maha Esa
Kau masih mampu ketawa besar dan berpesta
Kau masih mampu terbang sini terbang sana
Tapi kau telah menyalahgunakan kuasa
Kau biarkan mereka menanggung derita
Akibat kesalahan yang telah direkacipta
Oleh mereka yang berperangai syaitan durjana
Kau juga membiarkan anjing-anjing mu menganggu isteri mangsa
Mengugut dan ambil kesempatan kelemahan wanita
Namun Allah Maha Berkuasa
Kau tidak akan terlepas dari siksaan neraka

Wahai kawan-kawan di luar sana
Bangunlah dan keluarkanlah suara
Bantah ISA sekeras-kerasnya
Kami tidak mahu harta-benda
Kami memerlukan doa anda
Kami mahu sokongan padu saudara
Kami sudah tiada lagi airmata
Cuma semangat yang membakar dan membara
Yang mahu keadilan ditegak dibumi tercinta

Keris Silau
12 December 2007

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 6)

Dear Mat John,

Sorry, I have been busy
No time to tell you story
But I can’t resist telling you this story
It is about our Perdana Menteri
I thought he just buat-buat bodoh initially
Just acting to be stupid instead of real stupidity
But last week it is confirmed of his absurdity
After helicopter ride from visiting flood situation in the country
He got this brilliant idea that he can’t wait to share immediately
Instead of crooked, we should have straight rivers said Mr Badawi
This one can help mitigate the flood he said confidently
The land can be developed for picnic and nice scenery
I know you are on the floor laughing uncontrollably
Go ahead and burn some calorie

Oh my God, what has he been eating lately
God created rivers in perfect form of topography
Now humans are questioning God’s credibility
I remember that he graduated from Islamic History
He probably got D or F for his Geography

Since some people want to please Perdana Menteri
Especially those mentris in charge of DID
They will instruct all those engineers and kuli
To build rivers in straight line as wish by Perdana Menteri
Those personnel will be sent to Nile River for in-depth study
Sponsored trip paid by DID and Kerajaan Negeri
They will be accompanied by menteri besar and isteri
Visit Pyramids and make use of opportunity
That is what they are good at – wasting money
When question why you bring your bini
They will answer I pakai duit I sendiri
The truth will only be revealed during audit report by AG

Oh my God, what happened to this country??

Keris Silau
12 December 2007

Monday, December 10, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 5)

Dear Mat John,

Another Bolehland story
Have you heard about Malaysian Open University
They just appointed Jean Abdullah Badawi
To become Chancellor of the university
You can see Pak Lah is smiling broadly
Sampai nampak gusi
Of course our Mak Mertua will be very happy
Not bad for a former butler to Perdana Menteri
I know you are laughing uncontrollably
Now you know why we fared badly
In the THES top 200 World Best University
Appointing someone from friends and family
Whim and fancy, forget about meritocracy
Well Mat John, another absurdity!

As usual congratulatory messages streaming continuously
Especially in Utusan and Umno owned NST
Another way of wasting the money
But for kaki bodek that is necessity
They will advertise anything to please Badawi

This is another fact of absurdity
Some universities are owned by governing party
TAFE and Medical College owned by MIC
MCA owned UTAR University
Gerakan just established Wawasan University
Don’t talk about UMNO, they have plenty
Indonesian will call this proses indoktrinisasi
Some sort like paper mills producing Degrees
That explains 80,000 unemployed graduates in this country
I hope they have not reached a level by offering PhD
Soon we will have unemployed PhDs looking for job vacancies

Pak Lah asked ministers to hands off sport’s body
Because it brought more misery than victory
Meddling by politicians made our football in state of sorry
Pathetic compare to the time of Mokhtar Dahari
It will be worse after Khairi became FAM Deputy
Look at how they fared in Sukan SEA
Like sports, same treatment must apply to the university
Revamp Malaysian higher education policy
Don’t choose Ketua Bahagian as VC
Then you will have UMNO Cawangan Universiti
Choose VC based on his or her vision and capability
Let freedom of speech and ideas flow in the university
I would like end by quoting UM Law Professor Azmi
“If you loved your universities, set them free”

Keris Silau
10 December 2007

p.s. I dont write fluently today - Arsenal lost 2-1 to Mboro.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 4)

Dear Mat John,

I can’t wait till weekend to tell you this story
The latest news on our judiciary
The appointment of Zaki Azmi
As a second highest post in judiciary
Former legal adviser to governing party
He made headline by marrying Norhayati
Second marriage solemnized by Thai kadi
Seems to be the passion among menteri
The marriage lasted three months only
Divorce proceeding turned messy
Resigned after media report his story
Morally unfit to hold job as Umno disciplinary
But now fit enough to be in judiciary

Have many business interests in the country
Among them are public listed companies
How can he ensure impartiality
Azlan Shah talked about importance of impartiality
You have to look impartial as principal quality
But Pak Lah seems unperturbed by that quality
Pak Lah seems to admire this kind of personality
With dubious character and tainted integrity
Another sign of Pak Lah’s stupidity
Another reason for international media mockery

People wonder why he did it in hurry
In announcing the two top posts of judiciary
We wonder why King gave consent and agree
That is our last hope by His Majesty
Like what he did to Fairuz recently
Or is there a maneuvering or conspiracy
In a new brand of Pak Lah democracy
Ineffectual but still manage to get things done finally

Well Mat John, another Malaysia Boleh!

Have a good weekend
Enjoy your summer
Keep some strawberries for me


Keris Silau
7 December 2007

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 3)

Dear Mat John,

It has been hectic lately
I will miss summer in Sydney
Unless I hop on Pak Lah’s jet to OZ
I am not joking it can be a reality
I will follow footsteps of Khairy
Bump my car to Jean’s daughter accidentally
Get to know her daughter and marry
Then the rest is history
I became step son-in-law of Mr. Badawi
Step brother-in-law to Nori
Are those words are in dictionary
No worry mate Malaysia Boleh mentality
You can try your luck for one more vacancy
Than we can compete with Khairi
Forget about 4th floor we can occupy Level 3
Then we ask our step pak mertua for some AP
We can go thru our Mak Mertua alternatively

Well, you don’t learn this in university
Khairy got the idea from Hindi movie
Know-how becoming secondary
Know-who is now a priority
Those professors got to learn the reality
Just like Cash-Flow quadrant from Kiyosaki
University taught us to become Employee
Sampai mati asyik makan gaji
Not to become rich and wealthy
So we suffer during economic crisis and Inflasi
Umno cronies have buffet but we have Maggi mee

How do you like my modus operandi
Do you think it will work nicely
But Mat John, I am not that hungry
I don’t have plan to become PM by 40
I don’t dream to own a few Bs
I am just contented with a few Cs
Life is not about power and money
I don’t go for glamour and popularity
I don’t yearn for assets and property
I just happy to study Shafie and alGhazali
Meaningful life in Damai Abadi



Keris Silau
6 December 2007

Aku Muslim Yang Baik

Itulah yang dikatakan Pak Lah
Mari kita semua ucap Alhamdulillah
Diharap semua menteri ikut jejak langkah
Mulakan dengan bertaubat nasuhah
Bagaimana pula dengan Jean Abdullah
Bila nak memilih ikut perintah Allah
Bukan cuma bertudung masa kenduri arwah

Mari kita lihat ciri-ciri Muslim sejati
Supaya menjadi panduan suami-isteri
Pertama kita mesti beriman dengan Almighty
Tuhan untuk semua makhluk dibumi
Apa yang disuruh kita patuhi
Apa yang dilarang kita jauhi
Selain mengerjakan solat, berpuasa dan haji
Keluarkan zakat tanpa memikirkan rugi
Makan dari sumber yang halal dan suci
Maka bertambah keberkatan kita punya rezeki

Selain itu hati dan tutur kata mestilah ikhlas
Kita mesti tunaikan apa yang telah dituntas
Bercakap semua boleh mudah dan pantas
Namun kelakuan dan perangai mestilah seiras
Sebab malaikat catat tanpa henti tanpa batas
Baik buruk semua dicatat tidak terlepas
Sebesar zarah pun dikira juga tidak terlepas
Termasuk harta negara yang dikebas
Tak kiralah untung besar seperti Petronas
Komisen senjata atau misi angkasa lepas
Malaikat merupakan Suruhanjaya Bebas
Tidak terikat dengan UMNO atau PAS

Sebab tu kita mesti berhati-hati
Sebab suruhanjaya bebas sedang perati
Dia repot terus kat Allah bukan Perdana Menteri
Dia punya kontrak bukan disambung setahun sekali
Dia simpan semua rekod dan bukti
Klip video pun ada guna teknologi lebih tinggi
Semua akan dipertonton di padang mashar nanti
Oleh itu kita mungkin dibilik seorang diri
Tanpa ada sesiapa walaupun pengawal peribadi
Tanpa ada tape atau rakaman CCTV
Kita terima rasuah berguni-guni
Sebab kita yakin tak ada sapa boleh bawa bukti
Tapi kita lupa Allah sentiasa memerhati!

Semoga menjadi iktibar
Keris Silau
6 Disember 2007

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Letter to Mat John (Part 2)

Dear Mat John,

Let me continue my story
Well, you probably have heard it already
About the biggest anti-government rally
Not exactly same scale as 98 Reformasi
On Nov 10 more than 40,000 flooded the city
To protest unfair election practice against EC
Dirty ruling party tactics are legendary
Short-notice on Election Day is customary
Just a day before Pak Lah was basking in glory
In annual affair of UMNO general assembly
Full of hypocrisy and puji-memuji
Pak Lah shouted it loud “don’t challenge me”
Despite threats and warning from Pak Lah and Khairy
People are defiant and take no heed from Badawi
They chanted God is Great, Daulat Tuanku and Reformasi
November is a month of illegal assembly
School holidays thus parents are quite free

The rally was given wide publicity
The rally was headlined in AlJazeera and BBC
Foreign media questioned our brand of democracy
Water cannon and tear gas were fired indiscriminately
Umno leaders are in denial state naturally
Such as Zam who head the Info Minsitry
Zam was trembling uncharacteristically
In an interview that becoming laughing stock in the country
Scrambling for words and chew out frantically
He can’t censor it as we are in digital technology
You can just Google or YouTube easily

Well that is one example of political absurdity
What do you expect from half past six menteri
Some are in complete ignorance and dreary
Some will resort to unthinkable publicity
Giving broom as reward never in history
Some will slaughter cows in parliament for kenduri
To celebrate the matrimony of our own Sleeping Beauty
Another stupid joke by backbencher MPs

You can’t find this in your country
A journalist like Michael Backman will agree
So many things to write for your Daily
No wonder he keeps coming here for juicy story
Malay tabloids prefer to write about ghost and celebrity
That’s saleable among ordinary
Maybe they got sick of constant spat by political party
They prefers to idolize people like Siti or Mawi
Do you think they care who is their MP

to be continued….

Keris Silau
5 December 2007


Note: puji-memuji = full of praise
Daulat Tuanku = Long Live The King
menteri = minister
kenduri = feast, celebration

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Letter to Mat John

Dear Mat John,

Oh man, I love this country
I called it the land of political absurdity
Full of ludicrousness amid stupidity
First in the pipeline is Mr. Badawi
The country’s 5th Perdana Menteri
Hailed from notable ulema’s family
In that spirit he created a new Islam Hadhari
The so-called modern Islam resembling Turkey
Some touted it as Islam Ada Hari
When the original Islam turned awry

He loves to travel in style like big celebrity
Making grand entrance in any opportunity
So he insisted a private jet paid by Treasury
He got it despite hullabaloo by bloggers community
He said the government didn’t purchase it out rightly
The government is leasing it from SPM, a GLC
For him, this is a good strategy
By doing that he thinks he can save money
Oh yeah, he thinks people believe his story

Perth seems to be his favorite city
Last December he opened Nasi Kandar Puteri
And then went on sailing trip with Todt of Ferrari
Back home worst flood hit Johor Kota Tinggi
17 died and 90000 evacuated in that tragedy
But yet, the jet setting PM was outside the country
He might use remote control key

Badawi has son-in-law by the name of Khairi
He married Badawi’s daughter Nori
Recently both blessed with the baby
That has longest name in the country
I can only remember the last name, Khairi
This young chap is Pemuda Umno deputy
Claimed to have “protection” from Mr. Badawi
Has a big wish to be PM by age of forty
So he is gathering support from Putera and Puteri
At the same time accumulated wealth aggressively
Through ECM Libra and some crony
Media was at his helm through NST
Now he has potent tools – money, media and machinery
And his father in law alias Perdana Menteri

Meanwhile Hisham is putting up a new strategy
His kris wielding attracts flak of Malay supremacy
It backfires especially to Chinese community
His reasoning draws conclusion that he is puny
Najib is not convince Hisham to be his deputy
Najib may consider a big mouth Nazri
Provided that Rosmah is okay to work with Nazri
You know why lah, Najib takut bini

We don’t have to elaborate the story
You have to come here to enjoy the absurdity
We have quite a few funny ministers and MP
Such as hilarious Work Minister Mr.Samy
Before Hindraf he represents Indian community
The longest serving minister that heads MIC
In press conference he got agitated quite easily
When Umno conference was held on Deepavali
He said no “open house” as sign of hostility
He twisted the decision maybe after talking to Indrani
This MIC leaders share similar trait and personality
The latest one was Cameron Highland MP Mr. Devamani
He has broken ranks with fellow BN MP
When he accused government not doing enough for Indian community
After meeting with BN Whip, he regretted and say sorry



to be continued….

Regards,
Keris Silau
4 December 2007